Lazy Hazy Dams

After the frustration that was Belgium an executive decision was made that we need to go Chill Winston in Holland. To say the walk from Rotterdam Station to our little shitty hotel owned by the dodgy man Tabouli was a bit of a hike would be an understatement. It didn't help that our first turn was in the wrong direction. Wrong directions were indeed the theme of the day and I will never again trust Gareth with them. After we left our belongings in the shoe box, we decided to have a little look around. Graz pointed south, and indeed everything did go South. We really should have got the hint when we kept seeing empty plastic bags everywhere with hash symbols on them and multiple rusta fellas sitting outside eyeing us off with big knowing grins. It didnt help that we had a little black back pack with us. Half an hour into the ghetto it was decided that if we go further we would probably die, if not at least be mugged. So we went back and decided to go North, and much to our surprise Rotterdam is not the shit hole I expected it to be on first impressions. And we sat down for a much needed beverage.

On one of our walks we discovered this walk of fame thing where they get all these imprints from famous people, look i have Carlos Santana's hands!!!!

It very much bemused us that everywhere we went there were signs pointing us towards Kunst (which means Art, and yes I agree with the Dutch). The place has some fantastic clubs/bars and the shopping was well wicked. But by far the highlight was what I consider the best Kunst gallery I've been to ever, Boijmans van Beuningen. Big call, but containing the works of Dali, Bruelgel and Man Ray, it had the best selection and just the right amount and mix of material for my short but occasionally expansive attention span. I love surrealism.

(I know this is not actually in the gallery, but I like it, it's the 1st Dali I experienced)

The most beautiful gardens and a most wonderful toilet - please go to toilet post for more. It was made all the better when we went back to our shoe box and found that there was late night hard core porn on our room's TV. Dodgy, dodgy Tabouli.

Check out their cool Cube houses

I shall own one of these one day.


Amsterdam was gret with much expectation and anticipation as out minds ruminated on the deborturous and hedonistic times that were to come. Unlimited hashish, a hostel located right in the middle of the red light district, great food, gorgy-arse women and fantastic culture; we couldn't really ask for more. So we did as the locals do, drink beer, got stoned, watched a live sex show (very disappointing), ate a lot, gawked at women in windows (including a beyonce look-alike) and partied away. I love knorx.

Look at the paintings on our hostel walls!

What went wrong (I also love alliterating) our hostel was a sausage sizzle and most of the time it was rain, rain, rain. We swam through the largest down pour I have EVER been in to the van gough museum, which, as usual, was packed and the rain, as usual, stopped just as we got there. Then there was the museum which was relocated to the other side of the city. Also the night that we went to the other side of town to a dead clubbing area then went home to find the best club was actually next door to us. And it was not until this city that I noticed just how bad a) the American accent was (like an ice pick in my brain) and b) how off-puting the ocka Aussie accent is especially on a girl (my sexism coming through). Anyway it was amusing to see us at a cafe, both trying to roll a joint when we hadn't done so for about 3 years. Very embarassing, but still we had the fattest mother fucker ever by the end, which would have made even cheech and chong a little jealous, although the woman I bowled over at home wasn't too impressed.

At least we slept alot:

Graz always wanted to know where it was:

Luxurius Belgium

So it was onto the Eurostar for the crossing of the channel, first destination : Brussels. Famed for its beer, chocolate and hailed as a boring city, it didn't disappoint. Luckily it was the first city so really things could only get better right? Well Brussels decided to rain on our parade. Because not only was it raining heavily with winds rivaling that of our little city of Perth (3rd windiest in the world according to Tooheys' bottle caps) but it also happened to be a bank holiday... I hate Belgium. Everything was closed, it was pissing down, I was falling over all the time because I had gripless shoes and we had two pathetic but endearing umbrella's named cheeky and flirty. They didn't last long, but did re-affirmed our hetrosexuality.

Meet Flirty:

Still we did get to see its beautiful square and a urinating statue. Interesting meal of the city would have been the fillet americans which turns out to be completely raw beef mince with capers/garlic/herbs etc. in it! We happily enjoyed this meal while a dog under the next table looked longingly at it.

The best night out by far involved alcohol. Started off at the beer circus, where we finally understood what monks get up to when they are not discovering mendelian genetics or growing beans... brewing alcohol - lots of it! We even got a monk to pour for us.

Then we decided to go to this random resteraunt in the middle of no where. We have no idea how we got there, the food and service was fantastic and we met our twins! After, it took us 2 hours to get home when it really should of taken us 30 minutes, met some real characters, and managed to direct a lost tourist to a place we did not know.

I love looking at photos after a great night out.

Bruges was next on the map and after a somewhat hung-over train journey we arrived and finally saw some sun! Glorious! Unfortunately we, like Crowded House says, take the weather with us. After a short siesta we were woken by sloshing out side our room. We discovered that within the space of an hour it went from happy shiney to torrential rain and flash flooding... with water entering our building. I hate Belgium.

Still after that it cleared up and got to look around this tourist over-ridden city, ate $2 pasta, their famous chips, got shooshed whilst whispering in a church, saw REAL chocolate boobies (I love knorx!!!!!) and even met Napoleon Dynamite (look a like)! GOSH!!... you IDIOT!!! Belgium is ruining my Life! Then we left.