Tour de Paddy Wagon

As my need to study increases so does my yerning to complete this blog, for which, yes I am very behind (about 1.5 years) but hey.

So the next part of our trip pretty much starts an absolute crazy time in our travels. We decided that it was about high time we started exploring this island called Ireland. It would be the only real coach tour that we ever joined but my golly gosho it was awesome! Best tour ever, out of one. I must say the history in Ireland is by far the most interesting, mainly because it is still so present and the ongoing after effects actually spill into modern day.

It was called the Paddy Wagon tour, it started at some rediculous hour in the morning and all I can remember was being retardedly tired and wanting to sleep but had some irate irishman bus driver telling us just how stupid we were and how did we not know any of Ireland's history. He was actually pretty jarring and I thought this guy was a fucking dickwad, and made a mental note to put in my first complaint ever in my life, to this company. But anyway this guy "Charlie" eventually grew on us, and by then end we though he was awesome. Sang heaps of off tune irish traditional songs, told us about random stories, the guy knew everything there was to know. Including my favourite about a crazy irish priest who managed to petition an international airport to be built in his shire, didn't have the funding (or it ran out or something) but he went ahead anyway, had only half the runway done, then went back to the governemnt and said "what.. you going to waste all that money.. you may as well finish it. What's even better is that it's not even used at all! Ireland.. a land where nothing makes sense. So Charlie this fucker, we end up finding out that he actually was a multimillionaire, owns a house next to Bono.. and owns the company Paddy Wagon - so much for my complaint.

This pretty much symbolises the tour. Just awesome.

And my usual partner in crime incase you'd had all forgotten, pulling his typical "graz" face

First off was straight up to North Ireland to see the famous Protestant strong hold. It was just surreal seeing HUGE murials of balaclava clad men holding Ak's and being revered. Many of the fallen had their portraits. Overt messages of death to catholocism.

It's pretty rough in this neighbourhood. This little shit (he must do this all the time to get his kicks) saw us, ran to get some golf balls and started hitting them towards us from this mound. We were taken around in the famous 'black cab' tours, these gusy lived it and have so many stories to tell, pretty much the only people who wre allowed to cross between the 2 rivalling areas. It's great, you even see that the gutters are painted differently to let you know exactly which area you were in.

This hotel holds the famour mantle of being the most bombed hotal in Europe. Dublin stated was much more tolerant now.. but you could still feel it. My mate shiv (indian) went into a pub, and saw that the gaelic fotty was on - so sat down to watch it. After which a bikey, came up to him and noted that he was watching the game (ubeknownst to him, it was a protestant pub, and it was put on as bait.) ask was asked flat out what religion he was - since he was watching the game, to which shiv replied - he was muslim, to which the bikey asked, so if muslim was more like catholicism or protestant? Shiv quickly got the hint (after a bit of object that it was neither) that yes, muslim was indeed more like prostantism.

I didn't realise this but Belfast has a wall! That divides the religions, at night at a certain time the gates would shut and if you were on the wrong side, you would have a hell of a night getting back, if at all.

Nowadays the gates are left open and the wall is filled with messages of peace and hope. SO we added our names to the petition.

This is famour wall in support of those oppressed around the world (Ireland is very pro - palastine) To the very left you see Bobby Sands, who led the famous hunger strikes (he died after 66 days)

Had a few good nights out in Nth Ireland, went to a few eclectic clubs where I found this awesome sign in a room - filled with nobody, so we crashed it. At some point point, charlie took us to this pub, where we were warned, NEVER to talk about sport, politics, religion. Some halarious guys - with massive fuck off tats got talking to us (we were scared shitless), went to order from the bar, where I noticed the the guy was a bit funny lookin - asked charlie - said he would tell me later. Once back on the bus, he let us know that all the guys surrounding us were IRA members and the guy withthe funny face, was actually the owner and half of his face was blown off by his own car bomb that went off a bit early whilst trying to get to Maraget Thatcher! He later laced a bomb in her bath tub, but she changed last minute and he blew someone else up instead!! Amazing shit.

Ireland is said to be the land of a thousand shades of green (it should be with all that rain!) plus some sheep.

We hit Giants causeway, some legend about big people building a bridge to who knows where. Mainly because the rocks were really cool and had some funky hexagonal thing going. This is where Graz perfectly pulled out his Zeus pose.

Funky huh?

Graz doing a phantom of the opera pose at the giant organ

Me pulling an Asian Micheal Jackson. Windy?... yes

This rope bridge to some random little island, really novel only for the bridge, but apparently some poor sod used to have to live there for weather prediction or something, which isn't hard in Ireland considering it's going to rain, or it already is. If you fall from this rope bridge you get washed away into the sea.

Cute interracial couple on a remote Island in Ireland.

Getting air time

Next it was onto the town of Derry, which saw it's fair share of conflict. The guy in the picture was our tour guide, who had been arrested 72 times in one year, telling us stories of non-stop scuffles with the brit police, stealing their hats. This was the town where a young catholic hgirl with a loaf of bread was shot down by a sniper. This was where Bloody Sunday occured. And was pretty much the starting point of most of the "troubles".

Again fantastic murials were painted all over the city walls, most very new and are just an amazing sight to see. After a while you become very sympathetic to the IRA's plight and it's amazing to hear the stories that very made it out to the real world.

Here a massive statue was torn down, I can't remember the full details. Google it. There is graffiti everywhere with anti-brit slogans.

Case in Point.

The man in the picture is an absolute crack-up. He's a total drunkard that stumbles around, my tour guide once found him covered in a metre of snow, gone comletely blue, thought he was dead. Shook him a little, the guy woke up cursed the tour guide for waking him and stumbled off. Oh he also used to be the lead striker for the celtics, and was one of the highest paid soccer stars in his league.

Just another brick in the wall.

Real Irish ass'

This is some old fort that you can see three counties all at once, just a hole with rocks around really. Historically very significant, but I can't remember any of it, I was hung over. But good place to do a jump shot.

Best jump shot ever, if you look really hard Graz is jumping in the distance. One of those moments that we just had the same thought, not pre-planned. Just awesome

The beautiful Cliffs of Moher, it's a bit temperamental if you get to see them or not, as my parents found out.

I thought this would be a great photo of me levitating, but it just looks like a huge pole is up my arse

Being naughty at the cliffs of Moher (cliffs of insanity for the Princess Bride Lovers)

Me being stupid and re-inacting the little man in the picture

Where dumping (shitting, breaking up, garbage) incurrs a fine. But at least it's a round figure

Unlike this ridiculous fine.

The Irish Stone henge, just doesn't cut it.

This is where the tour went to Galway! Our Town, yes we owned it. This was in the living room (their clubs have this funny affinity for parts of houses - the front door, the living room) The guy to the left is Dave, the redneck - he'd hate me saying this - canadian who ride a horse called Jake, the one on the righ tis Colm, real good fella. Both these gusy were awesome value. This was where we joined up with another tour group adn changed drivers to this halarious swearing all the time dude, it's also where we met two canadian girls. Little did I know then how our lives would intertwine in the future. But we definitely had 'prettiest girl inthe room - or in this case bus- syndrome. They just turned out to be awesome chicks too.

Partying it up in our home town.

We got the usual Locals out again. ME Julie!

That's Charlie on the right... Dodgy dodgy guy, but totally shooter.

The most genious name for a coach company. I wonder if the word Dero came from Ireland, or brits term for describing the Irish.

Love this photo, Business is obviously good.

Jump!

This cube had me going for hours, it was a puzzle, the bus driver (we shanged by now) was shat off cos he couldn't do it. The whole bus couldn't either - well more couldn't be bothered. I was so proud. Definite shining moment.

This is where we went a little nuts. Somehow we got taken to this middle of nowhere town where the only famous thing was someone from the town went to the south pole. Dodgiest hostel ever. But had the most awesome fun. This is where we got to know the canadians better and won their hearts over. hehe

Nothing need be said

There was nothing to do, so it was karaoke night. There was another outragous tour group too.

Oh yeah, these are the 2 I'm talking about. The one on the left Nicole "Primo" and on the right Kara "K J May" This is them teaching us line dancing. Nicole pretended she didn't know the moves, whilst Kara was fully into it. She is very country, her favourite singer is Garth Brooks and Jon Bon Jovi.... seriously.

So after a few Car Bombs (Guiness and Baileys)

Ok a few a fair few more.

We belted out a total eclipse of the heart. Cos I fucking need you now tonight, I fucking need you now forever. We won over the whole hostel.

Another Favourite photo. Colm was classic through the whole trip. Made the boring bits heaps better, awesome one liners, but again I can't remember any of them (again I was hung over most of the time on the Bus)

Again another favourite Jump shot, this was right near where the chick from the Cranberries lives. In her 2 million dollar mansion with a recording studio and stuff.

Aparently the oldest structure in Ireland ? Europe? bee huts or something, since the Viking invaders - something from 7th /8th century

The Beach where cold play filmed Yellow. Also I think the beach where all these guns were supposed to come from the germans to help the IRA, but the Irish couldn't get there shit together to send a boat out to retreive the guns (water too shallow) So it was moored for days, eventually the britsh found it and sunk it. Morons. Graz pointing to the only yellow ting he could find.

We even went horse riding with them. My horse was halarious, towards the end when everyone went home, my old fogy of a horse decided he didn't want to go home but scratch his arse on a trailor, so I was stuck there for about 15 minutes whilst he rubbed his twenty year itch.

Kara in her element

Seriously? Jackpot (according to William)

Infiltrating the Badger Cave

Model Tree Hugger

At the Blarney Castle, in search of the famous stone

What you have to do to get the gift of the Gab. Yes get a crotch shot. We were also thinking about the hyege of kissing a stone that about 100 people kiss per day, you also get a touristic photo and an old guy holding you incase - seriously if I were to fall, I thin kthe guy's only use would be to cushion the fall.

Shooting the Irish flag.

They tasted terrible, but hey. To get into the Spirit. I later learnt that Ms Primo, being the good pharmacist was on TB meds and killing her liver...

And the posse forms, much to many's disgruntledness.

Somehow line dancing creeps into it all

WHen in Rome

The good old Aussie tradition of stealing things off the street, admittedly it is a huge cone, and really was just asking for it.

Another Fav photo.

If you can't see it says 2 hours. It's what 5 euros gets you, or a pint of Guiness.

So imagine what I could get for this? I have found my dream car.

Expressing joy at our final destination. The most important place in Ireland, of which without, the country pretty much falls to pieces.

In Sky Bar, there were heaps of people who didn't want their tokens, twas awesome. GUiness STRAIGHT from the VAT, how it was meant to be drunk . It is Oft said that the further away from the epicentre of Guiness the worst it gets. So this is pretty much ground zero, it's doesn't get any better

The end of our Irish tour? No way. We meet up again, way way in the future.

But we hung out with the girls again anyway, and took them to a soccer match. A huge one, Chelsea v Liverpool. We ended up in a Liverpool strong hold (YEAH!). Harry, harry coooool, harry harry cooooool!

I have to end with this one, it's this shooter chocolate bar called the 'Yorkie' which if you look closer states "not for girls" to which Kara defies.